Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Obama, where art thou?

Brother, week two hasn’t gone so well.

Three nominees for cabinet positions are vetted by your team, and THEN they have to withdraw due to “tax problems”. With you standing in the background of the photos while they withdraw.

A fourth nominee withdrew because of a pending grand jury investigation.

You have thrown Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid under the train (that’s a good thing) by agreeing that their John Goodman sized House version of the stimulus plan needed to be stripped down to something we could digest. So now you are totally dependant on the Republicans in the Senate to rewrite the stimulus plan.

You first order of business was ethics and transparency. Then you selected two lobbyists to fill key posts.

You even got trapped into saying something about Jessica Simpson’s weight. You know how to handle that kind of crap.

What happened to No Drama Obama?

I liked it when you were riding such a wave that comedians were afraid to mock you. You had such political might. You were untouchable. Now, you are writing their material for them.

You promised change. What we are getting is Bill Clinton III. Where are the Washington outsiders? Where are the change agents? A bunch of lawyers from Harvard and Yale aren’t what we need to get out of this muck. We need fresh thinking.

For example, how about some really new faces and some really new functioning in your administration?

My recommendations.

Steven Levitt, author of Freakonomics, as the new Secretary of Figuring Things Out.

Scott Adams, creator of Dilbert, as Secretary of Not Being Stupid.

P.J. O’Rourke and Al Franken, as Co-Secretaries of Calling Bullshit on Washington. (This way, both Mr. Franken could have a voice and the good people of Minnesota could have a Senator to represent them.)

Herb Kelleher, retired Chairman and CEO of Southwest Airlines, as Secretary of Motion. He never sits still. He moves people, freight and governments efficiently. He drinks and smokes, often at work and often at the same time.

David Kelley, founder of IDEO and the d.school at Stanford, as Secretary of Creative Thinking. He designed Apple’s first mouse as well as KickStart water pumps for developing countries. Imagine a cabinet meeting with all of you sitting on the floor with your shoes off. You might actually come up with something worthwhile.

Muhammad Ali, as Secretary of Peace. He understands that if you can’t get people to love you, then you just whip their ass. But, who in this world doesn’t love Ali?

President Obama, it is not too late to correct your ways. You still have prospects. Don’t listen to the sirens song from Capitol Hill. Follow a new track. You are our leader because you have the capacity for abstract thought.

You still have the chance to be a bonafide hero.

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