Saturday, May 9, 2020

Betty Jane

Oh, Mama.  How I miss you.

You were my spirit.  My encourager.  My viaduct to all things McLarin. 


A depression kid that figured out with Patsmama and Papa John how to have fun with nothing material.  We had it in our heads.  Words.  Poetry.  Songs.  Stories. 

There was a pop song, by Bobby Vinton that was popular at the time I was born.  "You Are My Special Angel".

You sang it to me and I believed it. 

Now, I know that you were my special angel. 

You taught me to love language.  You taught me to question.  You taught me to love Jesus but ask questions to understand it all. 

Mama, I'm still studying.  I'll never have all the answers, but I'll keep that balance of faith and questioning. 

What I'm sure of is that you live in me.  And, you live in my kids.  And, you live in my grandkids. 

Your blue eyes.  Your premature beautiful white hair. 

Mom, I dream in words.  It's like a typewriter in my brain and sentences come out in banner headlines.  And often, I write those things into stories. 

Pops just passed and I hope the two of you are reunited.  You made him whole, and he kept you sane. 

You are irreplaceable.  No one has had the impact or impression on my life more than you. 

Thank you for being a wordsmith, a dreamer, a rebel, a friend of all, an encourager and a mom. 

There are so many great memories.  Perhaps the capper was when you were in your last days in the hospital dealing with cancer.

You had never said the word cancer.  You didn't want to be subject to it. 

But that day I walked into your room, you asked me to sit on the side of your bed. 


"Alan, I've got cancer.  And I know I'm going to die.  I'm fine with it.  I know I'm going to Heaven because of my identity in Christ Jesus.  Don't worry about me.  I'm fine.  Go live your life and just know that I'll always love you."


I love you, Mom.  You have always been and will always be my special angel.


You are my special angel
Sent from up above
The Lord smiled down on me
And sent an angel to love
You are my special angel
Right from paradise
I know you're an angel
Heaven is in your eyes
The smile from your lips brings the summer sunshine
Tears from your eyes bring the rain
I feel your touch, your warm embrace
And I'm in heaven again
You are my special angel
Through eternity
I'll have my special angel
Here to watch over me
A smile from your lips brings the summer sunshine
The tears from your eyes bring the rain
I feel your touch, your warm embrace
And I'm in heaven again
You are my special angel
Through eternity
I'll have my special angel
Here to watch over me
Here to watch over me