Wednesday, January 21, 2009

The Subtle Invasion

They are already here.

They being an organization based in a foreign country. An organization headed by a member of one of the world’s richest families. An organization headed by a man rarely photographed or seen in public. An organization with a global strategy for dominance.

They are here in the U.S. and they are spreading their culture. They are changing how we live.

This group legally builds their buildings. And, they proudly bear their own colors. (i.e. they ain’t red, white and blue)

The pain and torment they are willing to inflict are incredible. They lure the unassuming into their buildings. And God help you if you try to get out. It is an intricate and confusing maze meant to hold you in. Forever.

This group is so subtle yet diabolical. They have brought their strange ways and, even, their foods. They are cleverly introducing their culture by enticing our children to eat what they eat.

Like, lingonberries.

This group is, or course, al Ikea.

Who hasn’t suffered the mental torment of the missing piece? Or, the piece that isn’t in their “instruction manual”?

Who hasn't lost their mind (or their wife or their life savings) wandering their labyrinth?

Who hasn’t suffered the physical pain of lifting “Malm” furniture out of bin 13A?

We must unite and push back. We must demand the return of furniture made in Hickory, North Carolina. We must resist the seemingly innocent temptation of “Swedish Meatballs.”

My fellow citizens. We must pick ourselves up and dust ourselves off. We must remember our better history. Like when the furniture store was owned by someone your dad knew. And, they sure as hell didn’t serve you daime torte during a “fika”.

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