Bankwalkers

When a group of folks makes the decision to go skinny-dipping, the normal and honorable ones take their clothes off discreetly and jump into the water as fast as possible.

But there is always one in the group that is the bankwalker. Strut. Preen. Stretch. Make sure everybody has an eyeful.

Sometimes they are well endowed and proud. Sometimes they are as ugly as a bucket of hair and proud. It doesn’t mean that those in the water aren’t equally endowed or equally ugly. It just means the bankwalker needs the attention.

They are male and female. You know right now who the bankwalkers are in your life.

And unfortunately, bankwalkers fill up our television screens, magazines and newspapers.

Rod Blagojevich. Paris Hilton. Tom Ford. Donald Trump. Terrell Owens. Barney Frank. Jose Canseco. Terri Hatcher. Rosie O’Donnell. Kanye West. The Kardashians. Madonna. Matthew McConaughey. Bill Clinton.

Would you all please get out of the way? You are blocking my view of Pamela Anderson.