Thursday, August 27, 2009

Relative Issues

The older I get and the more intertwined by family becomes with others, I have discovered a real problem.


I don’t have a name for a number of key new relationships.


My daughter is married. She has a father-in-law. I have become a father-in-law to her husband.


So how do I describe my relationship to John who is my daughter’s father-in-law?


After lengthy research, I can’t find any help.


So, I’m going to fix this myself. Don’t need government intervention.


Here are some options I’ve been kicking around.


John and I are co-pops.


John and I are friends by marriage.


John is my grandbabiesmamaspawpaw.


I think after much consideration, I have the answer.


John and I are poops.


So, let us now establish a special day for us.


Poops Day.


Poops day cards. Poops day cakes. Poops day parties.


As if that wasn’t enough, here’s yet another dilemma.


My ex-wife’s sister. She is still the aunt of my children. So even though I’m no longer related to her sister, Brenda and I are still related.


Brenda is my outlawedinlaw.


Brenda is my babyauntie.


Wait, I got it.


Brenda is my sexter.


That’s catchy. Will make a wonderful new holiday.


OK, two down.


My youngest daughter is half-sister to my older sons and daughters.


So her relationship to their in-laws . . .


This one’s gonna take some work.

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