Relative Issues

The older I get and the more intertwined by family becomes with others, I have discovered a real problem.

I don’t have a name for a number of key new relationships.

My daughter is married. She has a father-in-law. I have become a father-in-law to her husband.

So how do I describe my relationship to John who is my daughter’s father-in-law?

After lengthy research, I can’t find any help.

So, I’m going to fix this myself. Don’t need government intervention.

Here are some options I’ve been kicking around.

John and I are co-pops.

John and I are friends by marriage.

John is my grandbabiesmamaspawpaw.

I think after much consideration, I have the answer.

John and I are poops.

So, let us now establish a special day for us.

Poops Day.

Poops day cards. Poops day cakes. Poops day parties.

As if that wasn’t enough, here’s yet another dilemma.

My ex-wife’s sister. She is still the aunt of my children. So even though I’m no longer related to her sister, Brenda and I are still related.

Brenda is my outlawedinlaw.

Brenda is my babyauntie.

Wait, I got it.

Brenda is my sexter.

That’s catchy. Will make a wonderful new holiday.

OK, two down.

My youngest daughter is half-sister to my older sons and daughters.

So her relationship to their in-laws . . .

This one’s gonna take some work.