How can such a thing happen?
With all the planning and all the security, how can this be?
Tragedy strikes the Winter Olympics.
Of course, I'm talking about Johnny Weir.
Rhymes with . .
Yes, the anti-fur people have made horrible threats to Johnny after he added that lovely piece of white fox to his, em, athletic uniform that you can see on his left shoulder.
So poor Johnny is going to have to hide out in the Olympic Village for his own safety.
No club-hopping. No shopping. What's an Olympic athlete to do?
And oh you animal folks, I've done some research, and in addition to that white fox fashion fiasco, you've plenty to beef about with Mr. Weir.
To treat an injury, he once wrapped his foot in a duck fat concoction.
In his apartment that he designed in New Jersey, there are MORE animal pelts and even animal tusks.
He once corrected a writer from USA Today who wrote about him wearing a boa the previous day: "That was a scarf, not a boa - dead chinchilla, not feathers."
Oh, Johnny, this isn't going to be pretty.
Once the PETA folks get riled up, they attack.
This should be quite a cat-fight.
Oh yeah. . . . rhymes with deer.