Sunday, February 28, 2010

A Night of Charity

Went to a Rotary Club charity event last night.

Raising funds for underprivileged kids to go to college.

Perfectly solid idea, and I hope they did well.

But some funny things happened along the way.

My first indication it would be a funny night was a sign I saw when I first arrived at the venue.

Warning: Drinking alcohol during pregnancy might cause birth defects.

This was prominently displayed over the sinks in the men's room.

Perhaps a better idea might have been:

Warning: Drinking alcohol can lead to pregnancy.

As I entered the gathering, it was interesting to observe the people who came for this night of charity. Several ladies in Full Dallas. Showing lots of everything. Probable cougars. Or snow leopards.

A couple of really bad hairpieces, including one gentleman that I believe had his own backwards.

It has a harmless evening, until the live auction took place.

A full length mink coat went for $1600. That lady got a steal.

Two days on a houseboat on a Texas lake went for $2500. He was either generous, or stupid, or really lonely.

But the real heist happened right before my eyes and I could do nothing but watch the crime go down.

The auctioneer announced he had two Masters tickets. Every man in the place came to full attention.

As the auctioneer read the description, it became clear to me that the two tickets were for Tuesday. A practice day.

Tuesday practice day tickets are sold out like Masters tournament badges, that have had a waiting list since 1972.

The face value of practice day tickets is about $75. They can be bought online for about $300.

But even though the auctioneer read the information, very few heard it or understood what he was saying.

The bidding took off and it was the most competitive and lively of the evening.

One man walked to the front of the room and stood in front of the auctioneer. He was marking his territory. He was in effect saying he was going to By God buy those Masters tickets. You could see the excitement in his eyes. The dream of a lifetime within reach.

And that man bought those two tickets for $2500.

I don't know when the reality is going to hit him, but it will.

God bless him. But, walking Augusta National just once, even on a practice day, is worth $2500.

The first time I walked to the crest of the hill on #11 and the spectacle of Amen Corner was before me, I just stopped and cried. It is golf heaven.

I hope he has the same experience.

And some kid just got part of his college paid for.

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