Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Babysitting Hardtail

He said he slipped and fell into his own swimming pool.

As ornery as Hardtail is, I'm not so sure he wasn't done in by the same guy that took Bernie Madoff's friend for a dip.

This former college quarterback and nimble dancer says he was cleaning leaves out of his pool and slipped and fell in.

What is real is he managed to scrape all the skin off from his left hip down to his left knee.

It looks like a 50 pound brisket.

One of the worst strawberries in history.

Swollen. Weeping. Already turning colors that the human body isn't supposed to.

I stopped by last night and discovered he was really in a bad way. Couldn't walk on it. Lot of pain. So I offered to help his saint of a wife today taking care of him.

Just my luck, Mrs. Hardtail had a friend in need she had to go take care of.

So, me and the world's worst patient were there alone for most of the day.

It's man love when you put flipflops on the world's ugliest feet.

It's man love when you help him to the john.

It's man love when you get him breakfast and lunch, and refill his coffee.

It's man love when the world's loudest man beseeches you from the other side of a 6,000 foot house. "BURKS, I NEED MY PHONE." And you don't pour salt water on his leg.

Nurses, you all need a raise. A big one.

I couldn't do what you do.

Although I would like to give that knucklehead a Tabasco enema.

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