Losing a love is decimating.
You begin to question everything.
It has happened to me several times.
And what I have learned is that I have to wait on God.
Because God is love. If you don't know God, you don't know love.
He has a plan.
There are many days that I don't care for the plan.
That's because I'm on my time.
But I am learning painfully and slowly that if I will wait on Him, He will take care of me and bit by bit reveal the plan to me.
God is eternal. Eternal is a concept none of us can really understand.
If you are eternal, there is no concept of time.
I have learned that I am not in control of anything.
I have learned that any and all blessings that have come my way have been of Him. And some of those blessings have not been happy things.
I have for years been a "Lord, bless my mess" kind of man.
He doesn't hear that prayer.
I have learned to open my mind, my heart, my arms, my hands every morning and say to Him, "Lord, I can't wait for the surprise you have in store for me today".
A thousand times in the past few years He has provided when there was no possible way.
I don't like alot of the things that have happened to me. But I'm learning to appreciate that He is in control and is teaching me to let Him run the show.
There are amazingly wonderful things happening in my little life.
The love of grandchildren. The flowering of my grown children. The simple sweet love of my 8 year old daughter who loves me in spite of my flaws.
And I think God may well have introduced me to my soulmate.
She is much too good for me. But, for some odd reason, she seems to like me.
All I've ever wanted is what all of us ever wanted.
To find someone that will love us unconditionally.
Jesus, or Yeshua, is the example.
I had given up hope.
He hasn't, and never will.
He is hope.
And she is the evidence of things unseen, and the proof of things hoped for.
Lord, thank you for my life.
If she is it, make it clear.
And please, Lord, don't let me screw it up.