All I ever wanted

I grew up in East Point, Georgia.  A suburb south of Atlanta.

It was a "Leave it to Beaver" kind of place.

Families living together.  Kids playing together.  Very little turnover in houses sold.

It was home.  And, it was safe and happy.


All I ever wanted to was to repeat that upbringing for the family I dreamed of.

Chasing lightning bugs.  A family dog.  Neighbors we loved and trusted.


All I wanted was to do what I grew up with a little better.

I had no grandiose dreams.


All I wanted was to be married to someone I loved.  Have kids that we cherished.  And, have a picket fence around the yard to keep the kids and the dog in.


I've finally got as close to that as possible.

I'm married to a beautiful woman inside and out.  She loves family as much as me.

We live in a fenced house, but in Dallas, picket fences aren't the norm.  We have two greyhounds.


The sweetest thing I ever heard was from one of my daughters.  "Your house feels like love to me."


That's not as much about the house as it is the fact everyone in the family is welcome to come here and just be.  No judgement.  No drama.  Lea and I are very much in love with each other and with all of our family.

We have lots of mixed race kids and grand kids.

It's a simple little house.  But, the best part is the fireplace.  It's in the sunken living room (circa 1970).

There have been more good family chats around that fireplace than I can count.

It's a tacky 1970's design.  But, it has produced.


It's not a picket fenced house on a mountain in the Smokies as I might have dreamed.

We have 8 kids between us, and I think 14 grand-kids if my current count is correct.


Life is a marathon.  Keep running.  Finish.  It's worth the pain. 

The Good Lord knows what you need more than what you want.

Love is all you need

Dear Antifa, BLM, KKK, Boogaloo Boys, and like-minded folks,

We hear you.

We might not understand, but we hear you.

You are asking for something.  You want the world to be as you see it.

Bad news is, this world wasn't designed for your particular view.


So here is the answer.


None of you get it.  Far left.  Far right.  Racist.  Anti-racist.


The answer to your problems is very simple.


Love.


You can't get what you want without love.


Love means caring about another person before they respond positively to you.


I know this will be antithetical, but it is immutable.


Love conquers all.


And, God is love.


Yep, there is a being that created us all.  As screwed up as we can be.


You folks in the street are't the first.  Or, the last.

People have railed against injustice throughout history.

You are our current decade's proof.


Get this in your hard heads.  God is love.

Love means caring for another person before they even acknowledge you.  Love means you matter.  Love means you are worth it.

I'm a Christian man.  That means, I love you.  I care for you.  I hope the best for you.  I hope you see Heaven.  I hope you will understand that Yeshua hated.  But, what he hated was those against love. 

Yeshua came to make all of us equal.  Poor, rich, black, white, brown, Jew, Gentile, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, and on and on.

Yeshua came for all of us.

For all you want to do, you are powerless.  For all you want to hate, you will lose.  For all you want to control, you have no chance.


God is love.  And His Son, Yeshua is the answer.


You can take it or leave it.


But, you've been offered the opportunity of a lifetime to surrender your hatred for love.

Please, take his offer and your world will be a better place.

Amen

I Can't Breathe

June 4, 2009.

I was asleep.

It was about 8 pm.

I was living in Manhattan Beach, California. In the same apartment as my sweet daughter and my soon to be ex.

In the midst of a divorce.

To gain leverage, my ex called the cops.

She lied to them.  Said I was a drunkard, an abuser and violent.  None of that was true.


I heard an unusual knock on the door.

I woke up and walked into the hallway.  It was a trap.

There were at least 10 policeman in this tiny apartment.  My ex had claimed I was an abuser and a violent man.

I walked in to the hallway.

They asked me to sit down.  I explained that our 7 year old daughter was asleep in the bedroom where I had read her stories.

They then asked me to put my hands behind my back.  I did.


They then started to handcuff me.


I am claustrophobic and have anxiety attacks when I'm trapped in an enclosed space.


I tried to explain to the officers.


They took my resistance as aggresion.


Immediately, they took me to the ground. Or, the carpet of the apartment.

Six cops on top of me.  One had his knee on my neck.   Two had my legs.  One punched me repeatedly on my right jaw.  Broke my glasses, gave me a gash on the cheek and dislocated my jaw.

I was Tased three times.

When you have anxiety attacks and you can't breathe, you will do whatever you can to get air.

"I can't breathe".  I'm not trying to fight you.  I can't breathe".

I fought for my life.

I often wonder how close it was to them shooting me.


For some reason, they hogtied me and let me up.


The Sargent in charge explained to me that my soon to be ex had called them to the apartment because of my "violent behavior."   He then said to me that he understood what was going on.  He said this was a common tactic in Los Angeles divorce cases.


I ended up in jail.  Had to bail out.

The jail Sargent said to me, "Mr. Burks, I am so sorry you are in here.  You are not a violent man.  You are in here because of a nasty divorce lawyer and your soon to be ex wife.  You are a good man caught in a bad situation."

I can't know for sure what happened in George Floyd's situation.  If George had anxiety issues, it might explain some of his actions.

I can know that anxiety can cause a resistance against force with not pleasant responses.


To those that police us, I understand your concerns for safety.  Including your own.


I was choked down in the whitest of white suburbs of Los Angeles.


To the Floyd family, I think from what I see on video that George was wronged.  I think I was within seconds of that happening to me.

To those in blue, there has to be a better way.  White, black, brown, yellow or any combination.


Let's all get better.

Grace and Peace.

ab