Before we got married, my wife and I attended a course on marriage.
The teacher was a very interesting guy named Billy Grammer.
At the first class, we quickly figured out he was going to be deep.
Billy shared this point of view:
"The basic structure of the universe is one of paradox or dialectic, which is the phenomenon of two interacting forces, each of which find their meaning in the context of the other (male/female, talker/listener, maximizer/minimizer, spender/saver, etc.). On the surface there are two opposite polarities, each apparently contradicting the other, but what is found on a deeper level is the truth that both polarities are needed to express a greater truth and a greater reality. The tension that exists between these polarities is the drive mechanism for personal growth. The great temptation is to eradicate one side of the polarity so as to bring instant ‘relief’ from the tension generated by the two opposites. The point is this: God has designed the universe with this built-in tension so as to push us toward the journey of growth (death and resurrection). We, in turn, are very reluctant to grow and wish to constantly get out of this tension so that we don’t have to grow. The truth is that every relationship we participate in forces us to face this dilemma."
It was at that moment I heard one of the funniest statements ever uttered.
A friend of 25 years in the class said, "Oh, that explains it. I'm not smart enough to be married."
I still laugh out loud when I think of him saying it with perfect pitch, perfect timing, and just enough volume to let all that needed to hear it, hear it.
And it wasn't just that it's funny, it's probably true. At least for me. But I muddle thru anyway.
When's the last time you and your betrothed discussed the dialectic? Or your polarity?
And now that I think of it, there's alot of things I'm probably not smart enough to be.
Hmm, more to ponder.
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nice site here. monospaced font, interesting but readable
ReplyDeleteI think Billy is fos, a fool, a charlatan. He should have been thrown off the stage. By his reasoning Catholics should marry non-Catholics so as to properly challenge them throughout their lives together.
Do you really think investment bankers would be happier and better off marrying OWS protesters? By Billy's reasoning they would be.
I recall a story a Catholic man was considering marrying someone far outside his religion. He discussed it with his priest. The priest said something like "how can you expect to be able to work successfully with someone who views the world completely differently from you?"
The correct viewpoint is like rowing a canoe. If the two of you are in sync and have your oars pointing the boat in the same direction the boat will move forward smoothly, easily and happily. That's a good, happy, lasting and productive marriage
If you are not in sync you will have a difficult life getting that canoe to go anywhere. That is the misery and divorce waiting to happen.