I am ill equipped to understand love between a man and woman.
I think I am figuring it out by what it isn't, in a painful long way.
And with patience, and the grace of God, perhaps what it is.
What I do know is man love.
Not sexual. Not romantic.
Just bonding between men that I know is a fact.
I hope women have it. But I know men do.
Men can go months, years, even decades between contact.
Yet the bonds are still there.
When men make a bond, respect each other, enjoy each other, learn from each other, it is eternal.
It doesn't need constant watering.
It's like a cactus.
It is a seed planted that will grow and be there for much longer than we are alive.
I consider myself fortunate beyond measure to have such bonds.
Baxter. Met him in 8th grade. Talked him into playing golf at 12.
The SOB is now club champion at East Lake.
Haven't talked to him in a year.
But I can call him tomorrow and we won't have missed a beat.
And there are many more. Galloway, Waldron, The Judge, Lowry (were he still with us), Morgan, Bennett, Fisher, Gebel (were they both still with us), Shackleford, Cook, Boykin, Harwell, Samchok, Elder (were he still with us).
Thru the magic of Facebook, have reconnected with friends from grammar school and high school.
The men relationships are all the same. Nothing changes.
The female relationships not so much. Gets all hung up on, well, men and women.
Man love is a wonderful thing.
I can call Hardtail who lives across the lake from me and talk about anything from our sprinkler systems to theology. I love his wife Janet, but I just can't have those same conversations.
I live in Dallas. Going to Los Angeles this week to see my peanut.
We will have a sweet time. The best. A man and his baby girl.
And while I'm there, I might see Lyle, Matt and/or Lanny.
Those guys and I can start right where we left off months or years ago.
I'm going to my hometown of Atlanta next week.
With a little luck, I'll play golf at the 9 hole muni we grew up on. And play with some buds who were just as much a knucklehead as me.
We've gone in wildly different directions, but if we can reconvene at Gordon A. Morris Memorial in College Park, it will be like nothing ever changed.
We'll call each other dickheads, assholes, MFs, and SOBs. And have love behind every word.
I've had the pleasure of making friends thru business. Men that I can call at this moment that would come to my rescue. And vice versa. Yes, we were business people.
But more importantly, we became friends. Real friends.
Haggar. Howard. Askew. Bracken. Sweeney. Lyons. Hudnall. Edelsten. Cashman. Condo. Rawlings. Aronson. Noble. Lanny. Yarbrough. Spagna. Wren. Stocker. Lents. Scully. Bud. Van Winkle. DeVirgilio. Schornstein. Jeff. Silverstein. Siskind. Lohrer. Goldblatt. The Kohl's guys. Ambler. The JCP boys. The Commodore. The Nakash family. Olin. Gellers (were he still among us). Birmingham. Arnie. Laforce. Stephen. Hurston. The Belks and their men. DePalma. Hunt. Guglielmi. Killer. Ray. Jack. Tom. Denig. And many more.
I love men.
Married men. Single men. Straight men. Gay men.
Yes, gay men. They still get and can have man love. No expectations. Just that special bond men have in understanding how the world works and accepting each other.
I've been spoiled by the wonderful relationships that men have with each other.
No expectations. Unconditional. Accepting.
It also relates to the role of father.
Pete and I still relate.
Zac and I can communicate with a nod.
Ali and Sadie and Georgia, that's gonna take a conversation.
And it likely won't be done in one chat.
Men, we either hate each other or we love each other.
A very smart woman has told me that men can't multitask.
Perhaps that's the reason.
If I like a guy, and he's good to me, it's done.
I'm not capable of thinking of all the reasons why he might not like me.
Thank you, my men friends.
I love you all.
Except you son of a bitches and you know who you are.