And at last, it is green.
The color of life.
The color of safety.
The color of go.
The color of peace.
The color of joy.
Ah, it is green.
Pretty little bare feet.
Sweet smells.
Laughter.
Hope.
Everything is new again.
It's ok to go back outside and explore.
O green.
I want to lay in you.
I want to play in you.
I want to be with you wherever you are.
O green.
You are fresh.
You are encouraging.
You are a gift of God.
O green.
You are the color of love.
Thanks for showing your pretty face.
Friday, April 2, 2010
A miracle in medicine that's hard to believe
A precious baby boy was born yesterday at Parkland Hospital here in Dallas.
Perfectly healthy 8 pounds and 4 ounces.
Except for one thing.
He was born without any eyelids.
Children's Hospital is next door, and has performed alot of miracles for children.
Their team of eye specialists were called in.
After conferring for a bit, they contacted the leading children's plastic surgeon in the country, who is on staff at the hospital.
He had an idea.
Circumcise the baby boy, and use the foreskin to form eyelids.
The doctors met with the anxious parents, and they agreed to this unheard of procedure.
After 9 hours of painstaking, sensitive work in the operating room, it was done.
Late yesterday the doctors met with the family and told them of their success.
When the doctors met with the media last night, it was a lovefest.
A reporter from The Dallas Observer asked if the child would have any side effects.
"Oh, he'll always be a little cockeyed", said Dr. Dubious.
Perfectly healthy 8 pounds and 4 ounces.
Except for one thing.
He was born without any eyelids.
Children's Hospital is next door, and has performed alot of miracles for children.
Their team of eye specialists were called in.
After conferring for a bit, they contacted the leading children's plastic surgeon in the country, who is on staff at the hospital.
He had an idea.
Circumcise the baby boy, and use the foreskin to form eyelids.
The doctors met with the anxious parents, and they agreed to this unheard of procedure.
After 9 hours of painstaking, sensitive work in the operating room, it was done.
Late yesterday the doctors met with the family and told them of their success.
When the doctors met with the media last night, it was a lovefest.
A reporter from The Dallas Observer asked if the child would have any side effects.
"Oh, he'll always be a little cockeyed", said Dr. Dubious.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Hope springs again
Went back to Camelback, Arizona today.
Home of White Sox spring training.
"Thought I might find you here. Congratulations. You've had a pretty good week."
"Damn, AB, all I want is to watch baseball in the warm sunshine."
"Me, too."
"How are you?"
"Big O, I'm above ground. Have one dead son that you know about. And by the way, the Veterans Affairs Department just sent me 20 letters of condolences with your name copied like you had signed them. They spelled his name wrong. So it didn't work all that well."
"Crap. You'd think with all of our records and computerization we could get a kid's name right. I'm sorry."
"I know you are. It was a nice gesture. But. . ."
"So, what's going to happen this year?"
"The White Sox are a mess. The Braves have the best rookie in MLB, but I'd put my money on the Phillies."
"You're on. I bet the Yankees do it."
"Deal, Sir. In the meantime, what in the name of reason were you thinking when you pushed this healthcare bill thru? It's a lovely concept, but who the heck is going to pay for it?"
"AB, you are part of those blessed folks that need to share with those less amongst you."
"Big O, Sir, you are full of crap. I worked my way up from lower middle class. Paid every tax I was ever asked to pay. Nobody ever gave me a handout or a hand. I just worked. I'm paying over 36%. And I fear it's about to get worse with a VAT."
"We have to do something to close the income gap. Those with means need to pay so that those without can have something."
"Really, Sir? Where in the name of all that is Constitutional did you come up with that?"
"AB, it's the only fair way. We all have to share. We all have to contribute. We all need to share in the American dream."
"Sir, then make MLB follow the NFL. Does anybody in Kansas City thing their Royals have a chance? Does anybody in Pittsburgh think their team has a chance?
If you want it all to be fair, then we all need to produce, and we all need to contribute on a fair and equal basis. If American continues to follow the MLB doctrine, you'll have the Yankees with nobody to play."
"You mean we need each person, each town, each state to play it own their own? The Federal Government is here to equal it out."
"Sir, in all respect, you've forgotten how it all got started. And how it has worked for 200 years. The U.S. government exists because the states created it. And funded it. It is the states who must make it on their own. Sometimes they are up, sometimes they are down. You can't take away personal responsibility from the individuals or their state. If you do, you have the U.S.S.R."
"Hang on, pal. That's harsh. We are just looking to share the love."
"Big O, when the Steinbrenner's share the love, let me know. And when the U.S. becomes Big Brother to us all, we are screwed. You and me both. When you move back to Illinois, do you want to pay for California's stupidity?"
"No, I hate the Angels. And the Dodgers. And the Giants. And the Guvernator."
"Don't hate on Arnold. He's doing what any reasonable person would do. The state has spent too much and promised too much and now they have to cut because they can't fulfill all those admirable, but stupid, promises."
"You mean, like, we need every state to be on their own? Like, every man and woman to make it on their own?"
"Yes sir. That's how this country got started. And how this country got strong. It grew from the strength of individuals. Not from the greatness of the Federal Government."
"You wanna burn one?"
"Sure."
So we walked down the stairs underneath the vacant outfield seats. I lit his Marlboro Light as I lit my Marlboro 27. We smoked them in silence.
"You piss me off, AB. But I never thought about this baseball analogy. Thanks. Thanks for your son. Thanks for the light. And thanks for giving me something to think about."
"See you later, Sir. Go get the Taliban and al Qaeda. And tell Joe Biden this discussion is a big fuckin' deal."
Home of White Sox spring training.
"Thought I might find you here. Congratulations. You've had a pretty good week."
"Damn, AB, all I want is to watch baseball in the warm sunshine."
"Me, too."
"How are you?"
"Big O, I'm above ground. Have one dead son that you know about. And by the way, the Veterans Affairs Department just sent me 20 letters of condolences with your name copied like you had signed them. They spelled his name wrong. So it didn't work all that well."
"Crap. You'd think with all of our records and computerization we could get a kid's name right. I'm sorry."
"I know you are. It was a nice gesture. But. . ."
"So, what's going to happen this year?"
"The White Sox are a mess. The Braves have the best rookie in MLB, but I'd put my money on the Phillies."
"You're on. I bet the Yankees do it."
"Deal, Sir. In the meantime, what in the name of reason were you thinking when you pushed this healthcare bill thru? It's a lovely concept, but who the heck is going to pay for it?"
"AB, you are part of those blessed folks that need to share with those less amongst you."
"Big O, Sir, you are full of crap. I worked my way up from lower middle class. Paid every tax I was ever asked to pay. Nobody ever gave me a handout or a hand. I just worked. I'm paying over 36%. And I fear it's about to get worse with a VAT."
"We have to do something to close the income gap. Those with means need to pay so that those without can have something."
"Really, Sir? Where in the name of all that is Constitutional did you come up with that?"
"AB, it's the only fair way. We all have to share. We all have to contribute. We all need to share in the American dream."
"Sir, then make MLB follow the NFL. Does anybody in Kansas City thing their Royals have a chance? Does anybody in Pittsburgh think their team has a chance?
If you want it all to be fair, then we all need to produce, and we all need to contribute on a fair and equal basis. If American continues to follow the MLB doctrine, you'll have the Yankees with nobody to play."
"You mean we need each person, each town, each state to play it own their own? The Federal Government is here to equal it out."
"Sir, in all respect, you've forgotten how it all got started. And how it has worked for 200 years. The U.S. government exists because the states created it. And funded it. It is the states who must make it on their own. Sometimes they are up, sometimes they are down. You can't take away personal responsibility from the individuals or their state. If you do, you have the U.S.S.R."
"Hang on, pal. That's harsh. We are just looking to share the love."
"Big O, when the Steinbrenner's share the love, let me know. And when the U.S. becomes Big Brother to us all, we are screwed. You and me both. When you move back to Illinois, do you want to pay for California's stupidity?"
"No, I hate the Angels. And the Dodgers. And the Giants. And the Guvernator."
"Don't hate on Arnold. He's doing what any reasonable person would do. The state has spent too much and promised too much and now they have to cut because they can't fulfill all those admirable, but stupid, promises."
"You mean, like, we need every state to be on their own? Like, every man and woman to make it on their own?"
"Yes sir. That's how this country got started. And how this country got strong. It grew from the strength of individuals. Not from the greatness of the Federal Government."
"You wanna burn one?"
"Sure."
So we walked down the stairs underneath the vacant outfield seats. I lit his Marlboro Light as I lit my Marlboro 27. We smoked them in silence.
"You piss me off, AB. But I never thought about this baseball analogy. Thanks. Thanks for your son. Thanks for the light. And thanks for giving me something to think about."
"See you later, Sir. Go get the Taliban and al Qaeda. And tell Joe Biden this discussion is a big fuckin' deal."
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Taking a soak in the VAT
The U.S. is broke.
We owe more than we can pay.
That was true before the health care bill. Now it's even worse.
Most states are broke.
They owe more than they can pay.
Governments made the same bad bet that many citizens and businesses made.
The bet that our economy could only continue up. That real estate values could only continue up.
Therefore, we bet that cheap credit was a great idea.
Cheap credit on commodities that can only go up in value is a great economic plan.
Oops.
When you can't repay the credit cause you couldn't afford it to begin with, oops.
The banks that loaned it are cooked. But they are too big too fail, so the U.S. taxpayer (who already can't pay their bills) bails them out.
So now, politicians are faced with a very hard choice.
Whack budgets, or raise taxes.
And since politicians like to get re-elected, guess what the choice is.
So, buckle up.
Meet VAT.
Value Added Tax.
It is very complicated to explain. You can look it up on Wikipedia.
But, it's coming.
It is common in much of the world. Europe, Canada, Mexico all have a version.
In most places, it replaces income, property or sales tax.
Not here in the good old U.S. of A.
This is going to be a tax on top of all other taxes.
And this tax will be collected by the feds.
On sales of products, and for the first time, services.
Your accountant, your lawyer, your masseuse, your personal trainer, your bowling alley, your doctor, your dentist, your guy that mows the lawn.
All products and services will be subject to the VAT.
Since the politicians in Washington D.C. can't control their spending, they need to raise more money.
Especially since income taxes and import duties are going down since our economy is down.
They need more taxes to raise income to offset their spending.
It's like the worst third wife you ever thought of.
"I need more money cause I can't and shouldn't have to stop spending."
Imagine Mr. Pelosi explaining to Nancy that there is not enough money to pay for more Botox to keep her eyebrows in place.
That's what we are dealing with.
So, in the next month or so, I believe you will hear Value Added Tax, or VAT, become a term that you will like as much as TARP and healthcare reform.
Ms. Pelosi said last fall that it would be necessary.
The Obama administration has been studying it for a while.
It will be a lovely conversation.
Whilst we deal with the largest tax increase in history (healthcare reform), we are about to be told that we all must sacrifice more to make it possible.
As the old Vaudeville song went, "This fucking I'm getting isn't worth this fucking I'm getting".
We owe more than we can pay.
That was true before the health care bill. Now it's even worse.
Most states are broke.
They owe more than they can pay.
Governments made the same bad bet that many citizens and businesses made.
The bet that our economy could only continue up. That real estate values could only continue up.
Therefore, we bet that cheap credit was a great idea.
Cheap credit on commodities that can only go up in value is a great economic plan.
Oops.
When you can't repay the credit cause you couldn't afford it to begin with, oops.
The banks that loaned it are cooked. But they are too big too fail, so the U.S. taxpayer (who already can't pay their bills) bails them out.
So now, politicians are faced with a very hard choice.
Whack budgets, or raise taxes.
And since politicians like to get re-elected, guess what the choice is.
So, buckle up.
Meet VAT.
Value Added Tax.
It is very complicated to explain. You can look it up on Wikipedia.
But, it's coming.
It is common in much of the world. Europe, Canada, Mexico all have a version.
In most places, it replaces income, property or sales tax.
Not here in the good old U.S. of A.
This is going to be a tax on top of all other taxes.
And this tax will be collected by the feds.
On sales of products, and for the first time, services.
Your accountant, your lawyer, your masseuse, your personal trainer, your bowling alley, your doctor, your dentist, your guy that mows the lawn.
All products and services will be subject to the VAT.
Since the politicians in Washington D.C. can't control their spending, they need to raise more money.
Especially since income taxes and import duties are going down since our economy is down.
They need more taxes to raise income to offset their spending.
It's like the worst third wife you ever thought of.
"I need more money cause I can't and shouldn't have to stop spending."
Imagine Mr. Pelosi explaining to Nancy that there is not enough money to pay for more Botox to keep her eyebrows in place.
That's what we are dealing with.
So, in the next month or so, I believe you will hear Value Added Tax, or VAT, become a term that you will like as much as TARP and healthcare reform.
Ms. Pelosi said last fall that it would be necessary.
The Obama administration has been studying it for a while.
It will be a lovely conversation.
Whilst we deal with the largest tax increase in history (healthcare reform), we are about to be told that we all must sacrifice more to make it possible.
As the old Vaudeville song went, "This fucking I'm getting isn't worth this fucking I'm getting".
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
One more reason to love Texas
Tom Ford.
Creative director at YSL and Gucci.
Now, not only the most important men's designer, but also an Oscar winning film director.
Native of Houston, and grew up in San Marcos.
Creative director at YSL and Gucci.
Now, not only the most important men's designer, but also an Oscar winning film director.
Native of Houston, and grew up in San Marcos.
Like a cow pissing on a flat rock
That's how it's raining tonight in North Texas.
Get the picture?
Folks that farm and ranch have a way of explaining weather.
And tonight, the cow is a whizzing. And the flat rock is wet and so is everything around it.
We don't get gentle rain like much of the country. It either comes in big dumps, or it doesn't come at all.
Tonight we got the rain and heat lightning in the sky that is better than any fireworks you've ever seen.
Lot's of folks like to piss on Texas.
Like we're backwards.
Like we all wear ten gallon hats and hubcap sized belt buckles.
Yes, we have some posers. And we have some knuckleheads.
But so do you.
We do have people that wear ten gallon hats cause they are protection from the sun, the rain, the wind. Because they ranch.
And you enjoy the Black Angus cattle they raise.
We do have people with large belt buckles cause they won them in a rodeo.
That's right, a rodeo.
We still have high school rodeos in the rural parts of Texas.
You have to take your kids to a zoo or a field trip to meet a cow, a goat or a mule.
Many folks here have them in their yard.
Texas is the home of most of the oil companies. They ain't stupid.
Texas is the home of NASA. They ain't stoopid either.
Texas is the home of SXSW, the hippest music festival in the world.
Texas is the home of Dell, the computer company that changed the computing world.
Texas is the home of Texas Instruments. The folks that invented the chip that makes every frigging thing in your world run.
Texas is the home of Willie Nelson, Erykay Badu, Barbara Jordan, Mollie Ivins, Stevie Ray Vaughn, ZZ Topp, George Strait, Kinky Friedman, Clint Black, Tommy Lee Jones, Matthew McConaughey, Sam Houston, Audie Murphy, Ann Richards, Paul Fucking Begala, and alot of other folks that have made a difference.
So, give us a break. We were a country all our own, and gave up our independence to join the U.S.
Our economy is stronger than most countries and certainly every other state in the Union.
When a blue Norther heads our way, we might say, "It'll be enough to knock your hat in the creek."
That's because it is. And that's because we still have folks on the farm and ranch that just might lose their hat bringing in that lost cow. That one day you will enjoy with horseradish.
Just because we are happy with who we are, and at the moment fairly successful, don't hate on us.
Chamillionaire is from Houston, and he certainly wants your love.
So do Carol Burnett, Steve Martin, Bill Engvall, Dimebag Darrell Abbott, Larry McMurtry, T-Bone Burnett, Kelly Clarkson, Van Cliburn, Lyle Lovett, Selena Gomez, Buddy Holly, Janis Joplin, George Jones, Beyonce, Lil Flip, Steve Miller, Boz Scaggs, Nelly, Roy Orbison, Walter Cronkite, and Usher (amongst many others) who were born here.
Don't hate us for colorful people and colorful language.
We can't help it if we have the toughest, smartest, most beautiful people in the world.
And most of yours are as ugly as a bucket of hair.
Get the picture?
Folks that farm and ranch have a way of explaining weather.
And tonight, the cow is a whizzing. And the flat rock is wet and so is everything around it.
We don't get gentle rain like much of the country. It either comes in big dumps, or it doesn't come at all.
Tonight we got the rain and heat lightning in the sky that is better than any fireworks you've ever seen.
Lot's of folks like to piss on Texas.
Like we're backwards.
Like we all wear ten gallon hats and hubcap sized belt buckles.
Yes, we have some posers. And we have some knuckleheads.
But so do you.
We do have people that wear ten gallon hats cause they are protection from the sun, the rain, the wind. Because they ranch.
And you enjoy the Black Angus cattle they raise.
We do have people with large belt buckles cause they won them in a rodeo.
That's right, a rodeo.
We still have high school rodeos in the rural parts of Texas.
You have to take your kids to a zoo or a field trip to meet a cow, a goat or a mule.
Many folks here have them in their yard.
Texas is the home of most of the oil companies. They ain't stupid.
Texas is the home of NASA. They ain't stoopid either.
Texas is the home of SXSW, the hippest music festival in the world.
Texas is the home of Dell, the computer company that changed the computing world.
Texas is the home of Texas Instruments. The folks that invented the chip that makes every frigging thing in your world run.
Texas is the home of Willie Nelson, Erykay Badu, Barbara Jordan, Mollie Ivins, Stevie Ray Vaughn, ZZ Topp, George Strait, Kinky Friedman, Clint Black, Tommy Lee Jones, Matthew McConaughey, Sam Houston, Audie Murphy, Ann Richards, Paul Fucking Begala, and alot of other folks that have made a difference.
So, give us a break. We were a country all our own, and gave up our independence to join the U.S.
Our economy is stronger than most countries and certainly every other state in the Union.
When a blue Norther heads our way, we might say, "It'll be enough to knock your hat in the creek."
That's because it is. And that's because we still have folks on the farm and ranch that just might lose their hat bringing in that lost cow. That one day you will enjoy with horseradish.
Just because we are happy with who we are, and at the moment fairly successful, don't hate on us.
Chamillionaire is from Houston, and he certainly wants your love.
So do Carol Burnett, Steve Martin, Bill Engvall, Dimebag Darrell Abbott, Larry McMurtry, T-Bone Burnett, Kelly Clarkson, Van Cliburn, Lyle Lovett, Selena Gomez, Buddy Holly, Janis Joplin, George Jones, Beyonce, Lil Flip, Steve Miller, Boz Scaggs, Nelly, Roy Orbison, Walter Cronkite, and Usher (amongst many others) who were born here.
Don't hate us for colorful people and colorful language.
We can't help it if we have the toughest, smartest, most beautiful people in the world.
And most of yours are as ugly as a bucket of hair.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Health care for all: what's not to like?
How you feel this morning about the new health care legislation depends on where you are in the health industry universe.
Hospitals and doctors are happy because they just got lots of new customers. And they don't have to discount anything to get them. The government is just going to send them their way.
The pharmaceutical industry is happy cause they got new customers too, but they face a few complicated additional taxes and mandated cost reductions.
The local pharmacies are tickled that new money will be flowing their way.
Business owners are going to have to hire almost as many accountants, lawyers and HR people as Sarbanes-Oxley caused them to in order to figure out what all this means.
So HR folks and accountants have found a new industry (just like IT people did with the whole Y2K mess).
Business owners know one thing. Their costs just went up. So less money to grow their business and add jobs.
So, if you are an employee, somebody somewhere will be looking at your name on the list of keep or release in the next few weeks.
If you are an insurance company, the government just told you how you have to run your business. And it's not going to be inexpensive. So, you are going to have to raise rates to cover these new limitless policies. Even though you are also going to gain new customers, you have no choice to but to raise rates.
If you are a lawyer, you are giddy. No tort reform was included in the legislation. More patients means more lawsuits.
If you run a tanning salon, there is a new 10% tax on you. So the cost of getting that other-worldly orange glow like the folks on "Jersey Shore" just got more expensive.
If you are in poverty, the government is coming with new entitlement programs. You will have health insurance that you don't have to pay for.
If you are wealthy, buckle up. You won't be much longer. You will be taxed, re-taxed and double-taxed.
If you are an American, the government has just spent another trillion dollars, and hasn't yet figured out that tax and spend, or spend and tax, isn't a great way to stimulate economic growth.
So net net, we'll all be healthier and poorer.
Our debt will go up. Which means our currency will be devalued internationally.
So celebrate for a short while if you feel like you won the lottery.
The celebration of a trillion dollar program that has to be paid for by somebody will soon turn into the reality of, "Oh, shit. Never thought about that."
Please remember the immortal words of P.J. O'Rourke. (P.J. was once a wide-eyed liberal as a young journalist. Free love, free everything was his mantra. Then he grew up and started understanding how the world really works.)
"Santa Claus is a Democrat. God is a Republican."
Hospitals and doctors are happy because they just got lots of new customers. And they don't have to discount anything to get them. The government is just going to send them their way.
The pharmaceutical industry is happy cause they got new customers too, but they face a few complicated additional taxes and mandated cost reductions.
The local pharmacies are tickled that new money will be flowing their way.
Business owners are going to have to hire almost as many accountants, lawyers and HR people as Sarbanes-Oxley caused them to in order to figure out what all this means.
So HR folks and accountants have found a new industry (just like IT people did with the whole Y2K mess).
Business owners know one thing. Their costs just went up. So less money to grow their business and add jobs.
So, if you are an employee, somebody somewhere will be looking at your name on the list of keep or release in the next few weeks.
If you are an insurance company, the government just told you how you have to run your business. And it's not going to be inexpensive. So, you are going to have to raise rates to cover these new limitless policies. Even though you are also going to gain new customers, you have no choice to but to raise rates.
If you are a lawyer, you are giddy. No tort reform was included in the legislation. More patients means more lawsuits.
If you run a tanning salon, there is a new 10% tax on you. So the cost of getting that other-worldly orange glow like the folks on "Jersey Shore" just got more expensive.
If you are in poverty, the government is coming with new entitlement programs. You will have health insurance that you don't have to pay for.
If you are wealthy, buckle up. You won't be much longer. You will be taxed, re-taxed and double-taxed.
If you are an American, the government has just spent another trillion dollars, and hasn't yet figured out that tax and spend, or spend and tax, isn't a great way to stimulate economic growth.
So net net, we'll all be healthier and poorer.
Our debt will go up. Which means our currency will be devalued internationally.
So celebrate for a short while if you feel like you won the lottery.
The celebration of a trillion dollar program that has to be paid for by somebody will soon turn into the reality of, "Oh, shit. Never thought about that."
Please remember the immortal words of P.J. O'Rourke. (P.J. was once a wide-eyed liberal as a young journalist. Free love, free everything was his mantra. Then he grew up and started understanding how the world really works.)
"Santa Claus is a Democrat. God is a Republican."
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